SUICIDE NOTE


so my therapist asked me,
'What are you thinking? 
Do you wanna talk or write?'

Staring at the blank page, 
Lost in the warm tea,
My mind wandered to the last thing I will ever write!
My suicide note!!

I am a disappointing daughter,
Prolly not as neat and fast in the kitchen,
Prolly with no chance of being 'a woman of the people '
Prolly will never be the genius ,logical nor creative daughter. 

I am a terrible friend,
Lone company gives me more joy than friends, 
I feel more secure with my walls than without them!
So I push away those who try breaking them.

I am an awful lover; 
Past mistakes hold me back from giving my all,
Why let someone call me "mine"
When in real sense I am still caged to myself? ?

Reasons to live give reasons to die!
Or so I believe 
But I don't have enough reasons to die
So I am not gonna write this suicide note
At least not today and  not any time  soon.

And I look back at my therapist,
'I was thinking about how to prepare for the new year!
I am gonna count my lies and fears,
Find a mask and pretend it ain't easy to just fly away 
And imma walk through the year
Like the strong lady I am.!"

By Favor khaoya

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