Favorkhaoya

"I can't do this!" I didn't believe it when those words left my mouth.I had thought of a million possibilities of how this would end.None of them included a four -word sentence and eight seconds call. You know ,deep down I thought I had found my happy ending !Every nerve of my body would scream perfection at the thought of him.Every cell would twerk with excitement with his mere touch and God damn! His words would throw spasms of orgasms my way.I am a succer for eloquence especially when it's sprinkled with lust and creativity.Yes!!I had it baaaad for him.Craving for him was the least I would do. His flaws were without trace to me coz he had ten thousand ways to make me laugh until I cry. Adrian !The boy of my dreams ,The Man of my fantasies and the night mare of my reality. Nov 17th 2020 By Favor khaoya

You know how they say every door has a lock and every lock has a key?I always thought I was the corner room. The pristine serene room that no one dares try to open its door. The  one whose key is like a treasure being sought by pirates all the way to the caribbean. But at that moment;while he was standing by the bathroom door and stretched out to place a slight kiss on my lips I found the key to my lock. Months later,I still remember how those 28 seconds felt like; a touch from the gods won't compare to that moment!I wiggled,pulsated and made contortive sweeps all over my body .His lips soft and tender maybe from the prior steamy hot moment we had just had or because he wanted it brief,slow and soft comforting in ways words would never be.Their touch gentle ,innocent ,naughty,affirmative and electrifying .The look on his eye screaming "girl you mine !" At that moment,I blossomed like a flower and like a bee, he dug deeper to the nectar. Fast!hot!fiery!thirsty !hungry!.His...

And on those days Where everything is in shades! Nothing is crystal clear, Everything wavy! Nothing straight, Everything stormy! Nothing calm, Everything sandwiched! Nothing parallel On those days, Blur the noise, Make a choice, Find your voice, Re-define yourself! React to stimuli. Adjust and adopt You can't rule everyday! You ain't perfections heir Neither it's spare You are you! Rock and roll Find title to your untitled life! For everyday is a new dawn! Full of possibilities 😉 By Favor khaoya

Sitting on the window sill, The scent of the wet soil intoxicates my nostrils, The musical sound as the raindrops hitting the rusty sheets, I stare at the water droplets on plants I am lost in thought.... What is my corner of the sky?Earth,?Sea? Crops have raindrops, Raindrops have clouds, Clouds have thunderstorms, Thunderstorms have lightening, Lightening have the sky What's my corner of the sky?.... Doctors have  hospitals Judges parade the corridors of justice, Poets have rhyme,smooth is their way with words, Musicians have music, melodies that sooth souls Archers have accuracy,a predictable trajectory of the arrow, What's my corner of the sky?..... Nature journeys,seeking illumination Like flowing rivers Tall growing trees  And flying birds I seek my path What is my corner of the sky ? Like a ship,I sat safe at my port But that is not what I am built for Time to break cages inadequacy Time to own up my throne Time to climb the mountain,and  Find  my ...

Daddy I am sorry! Why lock my out? Why turn me down? Why turn a deaf ear on me? Daddy would you please listen ! 2hours past the witching hour, I slowly trode for  home. 2 am the puzzle pieces fit, At this hour, I disentangled myself; emerging from the depths of the spiral  labyrinth, 2am , I broke off rusty chains of captivity, 2am, I walked out of the jaws of trouble. Not entirely unscathed, Daddy would you please listen! Curfew rules I broke! My report on home codes is null daddy, I acknowledge! My movements are stealth, I sneak, Being corky my art,I'm a brat(have been) Spinning stories I perfected. Yet this once, The puppeteer was the puppet. Funny how tables turn! Daddy would you please listen! A handful I am, To the edge I push you, To the wall I pin you, To the ground I root you, I took you for a ride down town!  My affairs to you became a dark abbys. Yet this once,  Light was hidden from me, Daddy would you please listen! I was betrayed! Lied to! Used! Dragged...

I was going to  write about how much I love you‼️ How you make me feel like a unicorn, Hard to get,hard to earn How you are a space bound rocket ship, My heart the moon you always aim for. I get butterflies, goosebumps, At the utter thought of you! How my world stops spinning, At the mere sight of you. How my voice sounds like a cry for help, Each time I talk to you. How in my silence,I know telepathy isn't a myth. How my heart orgasms with excitement, Each time I hear your voice . But then, Missing you is the  overwhelming feeling at the moment. You are poetry when everyone else is an embodiment of plain  words, Your voice makes other men a bit syncopated;quite. Your presence pushes them to the oblivion of irrevance and  invincibility, Your words render them old fools, Your gait depicts royal essence . I miss you Made out of whiskey and ice you are, A drop of sugar and spice you posses. 'Come get me' look you display, Mixture of concentration and freedom...

I have a longing Desire to hold someone To see someone Someone dear to me Someone who loves me Who needs me Who thinks about me every single day I long to be close Close enough to touch Softly and tenderly Smoothly and caressingly Touch that would flow down the spine I long to be close To breath your breathe Around the carousel I would watch you go crazy Hear your laugh to laugh My cherry love, I long to be close to watch u go to bed To listen to your slow breathing To watch you greet dawn! Dance the day out, Kiss  sunset bye. I long to be close to love you  In all ways  Especially those I am good at😉 By Favor khaoya

Lying on that ground! Blood gushing out of my veins! Vision getting blurry! Heartbeat getting faint by the second, Body stone cold by the moment . Thoughts criss-crossed my mind I understood why he did it! He did not mean to do it! I played him for a fool Explains why he lost his cool Pushed him to the edge  Pure  ride down town, Steep! Fast! Reckless! No speed bumps! How could I not understand him falling over ?? Within, he ached for a happy ending, A Confused present all I offered Doing everything right his speciality Not knowing how to react my talent I was trying to move on! While he,to move in..  explains the  Strong emotion , But what about the sync? Falling in love wasn't his only mistake Hoping to win me over was another Girl of his dreams I was, He a  rebound plan ! I was broken!! Yet he was determined to deal with my broken heart, One he had no hand in! He hoped the pieces were large enough to be fixed, Believed someday, The sun rays would ...

You make me wanna tighten the noose! For you I have to loose! You set your table, Menu in pencil not ink! I guess coz you will always flactuate I am at an acomodador! I have to let go!

HEY STRANGER You might think I am tripping, Or my mind I lost, Or a freak I am But would you believe, I have been waiting for you Waiting as Penelope waited for ulysses, Maybe Romeo for Juliet Definitely as Beatrice for Dante.. Love at first sight it wasn't Love at each sight it was In our silence, our hearts speak still. Bad Jokes bound us as a ritual Messed around and got attached to you. Bottom line, I am a junkie,you my fix Hey stranger Every perfect song dug daggers  into my soul , Until you came my way Every love story a garbed theory, Until I saw  love in your eyes. Every man trash Until you saw my worth Until I saw your vulnerability You are my mystical ride Direct train to a magical land Hey stranger You are nothing like me, Yet you are everything I am in to. I'm falling , I gat it real bad, Every song I hear, I relate to you, All perfect lines in a book,I wanna recite to you. You are the last thought in my head before sleep sweeps me off, First thought when I open my...

DATE ME NOT We can't be more than friends, Despite the feelings taking root every dawn, The promise we made to remain Plutonic best friends,  That ,We should fulfill  Forget satisfying our bodies ache for each other, Skip satisfying our hearts desires , It's just a lustful craving . Let's not date! Romance makes rejection cut through like an ice blade, No! Let's feel something else I beseech you, Submitting to our flesh is a suicide mission Non that treads that road returns It will be the death of us,our bond, chemistry Let's not date! Dating puts you on a clock, A count down,solid timeline Like beautiful dreams we all have to wake up from What happens then ? Let's not date! Dating is like a time bomb It always explodes What happens when the butterflies in our stomachs die? And we are on the wrong side of each other's Street and evolutionary curve? Let's not date! Dating  like magic, Glitters everywhere, What happens when the spell wears off? And the sta...

LET'S DATE I don't wanna be just friends! My head is barely above water, When it comes to you I drown in an ocean of emotions. Fire to my soul you are, Wind outside ignites you. You I can't resist My love , My one desire, Let's date! I don't wanna be just friends! Like a moth to a flame you draw me, Like a wooden match to a cigar my flavor you preserve In a world of kisses and hugs, You hold my hand, Carress my brain, Cajole my insecurities, Highlight my strengths, Cover my flaws, Clean up my mess, Complete my incompletion, You earned the kisses and hugs more than anyone. Let's date! I don't wanna be just friends! We ain't afraid of new love, That much I know, Old pain we dread. In an era of messy first love, Can't we strive for true love ? So , Yesterday's darkness, Light of today it doesn't shatter. Some broken pieces still manage to fit. Let's date! I don't wanna be just friends! If purpose was written in books, This is the chapter...

DEAR DEAD ME Dear dead me,🧘‍♀🧘‍♀ How is the after world ? Land of milk and honey? Or eternal fire you landed?? Dear dead me,🧘‍♀🧘‍♀ Is After life all you dreamnt of? Or your fantasies were too good to be real? Dear dead me,🧘‍♀🧘‍♀ Rushing through your head everyone did, Last moments before living you retired, Was a sprint down memory lane. Things will be better off now Or so you thought  As the world you reassured Because I felt it . Dear dead me,🧘‍♀️🧘‍♀️ When it was time to say goodbye, Time to die,🥺😞 Did you realise the  bed you left  will always be cold? Your diary never finished? Your story told in past tense, Your  poems with a hollow persona, Your songs remain unsung, For they knew but your tune Your voice goes silent? Your dreams unaccomplished? Your lips unkissed goodnight ? Because I did. Dear dead me,🧘‍♀🧘‍♀ Living me is kinda jealous , Comfy pajamas your outfit, Junk food your specialty, Not reporting to anyone your lifestyle, Not responsible for ...

MISFIT I can never be good enough! Too black for the whites, Too white for the blacks, Too feminist for the male chauvinists, Too liberal for the traditionalists, Too religious for the sinners, Too sinful for the saints , Too justice-pervert for the lawbreakers, Too injust for the righteous, Too cunning for the foxes, Too noble for the gypsies, Too perfect for the imperfectionists, Too imperfect for the perfectionists, Feels like am trapped in a hoop,  hell fire or ocean water the options life gives, Either way "I die" Only survival technique, Is to be me. A misfit.

GOOD BYE LOVE ' I love you' Words that were, The last nail to our coffin, We were dead! Yet that last minute before drowning, We said the words that would have kept us afloat. Can I have one last hug? I'll find closure in your arms Walk away calmly from the storm. one last drink, Get reckless and accuse loyal Mr.Alcohol One last prolonged moment , Let's stand time still indefinitely, Get your eyes lost in mine, Mind creating a perfect illusion of happiness, Bursting  in laughter like you can't help yourself, One last moment of vulnerability, Loosing your perfect for a minute. One last time , With both seats of my car occupied , Stereo loudest to our favorite tune, Where everything is nothing without you. One last time to hope, the 'one  last times' make up a lifetime! Yet somewhere between the last and first kiss, Magnetic eye contact, Psychic connection, Electric waves, And ' I love you's' Like shattered glass we became, Glittering only when the...

Love, An emotional rollercoaster, it always is, Sun setting and rising at each others' feet, Come-get-me look in thy eyes, Compromises made, Understanding arrived at, Dreams drawn, Words flowing in poetry, Promises not sheer seduction Love purely blind Overflowing cup of romance Until the "huh!"moment Ultimate deal breaker is discovered, One wrong nullifies all the rights And once beaten..? Exit plan is schemed. For one "huh!" moment Leads to "oh oh oh!oops! I can't do this any more! Off the rollercoaster they fall.

Mama You are a special case, Beautiful flower vase Faith with a base, Stilletto in a room full of flats  Leaving imprints whenever you walk in. Mama, Your bark is harder than the bite, Enough to make me right my wrong Stopping at a loss ain't you, Changing the game plan defines you Reasons why the crown fits you perfectly. Mama I stumble and fall, Shake with overload of shock. Bruise my heart, soul and body, Walk in darkest of paths, Too worn to step on. Like magic you appear, Bright as the shining sun, Your rays make graphics, Piece by piece you stitch me, Word by word, reassure me Touch by touch heal me. Without you,what would I do? You are the centre piece of my art gallery, Enclosing you in glassware, I won't For those with taste in fine art to touch and feel you. So they know what a good mum is made of.. Happy mother's day mum❤😘🌹 Favor khaoya

Your love was a gathered storm, Across the skies I chased! Your raspy morning voice I craved, Your evening giggles made me smile in my sleep. Memories all lingered in my brains. A slave of my own thoughts I denounce, You betrayed me!you betrayed us! Like food in front of an overfed kid I felt! Useless and irrelevant Dark gloom enclosed in glass ware you doomed my life, Am at a point where I hate love songs, Reminding me how I am not part of a 'we' they do, Sad songs mock me, As if my pain ain't worth it. Trendy songs insult me, True meaning of 'mtaachana' tu they relay. Happy songs drown me in nostalgia, Reminiscing the good old days that faded. Bullshit! Why did you betray me? To the wind you had to throw it?

How did I end up falling for you? Caged to you! Blinded by you! Trapped with you! Loving you more than me! How did I end up Bending my rules Breaking thy principles Changing my personality Climbing mountains and swimming oceans How did I end up Not knowing who I am! Reduced to an overused toy! Running out of new tricks, You walk out on me! How did I end up with this ending ?

Why he ever chose me, Is a mystery. Mission of my life, Not to fail him. Obstacle in my way, "How" question. Wilderness ain't making me stronger, Breaking me it is! Confusion threatens shattering me. Light on my forever path I need, Strength to break barricades you grant me.

Dear God, You are I AM! Yet I am just me, You live in glory and perfection! Yet I dwell in disgrace and imperfection , You see the heart, Yet  I see appearance, You are, was and will be! Yet I am just now.  Being a man ain't always roses, Thorns in twigs I face, I stumble and fall, Disappointing you weighs me down, Crashed at all levels, Dejected beyond repair, Trapped in a self inflicted prison. Your son died for my sins ! And everything happens for good, Trusting the process I opt, Good work you started in me will come to completion. Like a child who is learning to walk, You give me the strength to pick my pieces, repent and start over with Jesus .  In my darkest hours, You stand by me. You are not man to break promises. I will sing praises to you! you make straight my croaked path, Free my heart, Light my night, Illuminate my day, Deal with my yesterday,  Plan my tommorrow,  Eliminate my sorrow,...

INTIMACY As my clients walked out of the room, I couldn't help but wonder! How did they get here? How did Romeo and Juliet become strangers? Did they skip the basics of intimacy? Did they mutually coexist before surface contact and awareness? Maybe that explains , The amazing sexual life and  the only sixty seconds of peace they have after each escapade. What if they don't know real intimacy? The kind that one is there true self, Secrets not hidden, Bound by honesty, Hands held in public, Fears faced, Emotions shared over meals as vividly as during pillow talk, Ideas kept and discussed on the table, Judgement cast to hell, Bonds created through unique experiences, Cooperation that blossoms to affection, Support in the face of a hurdle, Strength in all adversity, And the mutual assurance that they got each other.  What if they just fear true intimacy? Maybe keeping a cover of every secret gives hope of lasting, Maybe boundaries will make it easier to move on after abandonment, ...

I don't know who you are, Where you come from, How you got here, Or even what you want. But I know I hate your effect on me. You make my eyes feel like the sky, For I drip tear drops like raindrops. You make my pillow dread nightfall, For it ends up being soaked in salty water. You make my heart ache, For you bring it nothing more than sorrows. You make my brain dis functional, For it drains it's energy avoiding you. Do tear marks have to be your signature look? Do your eyes always have to be swollen and beetroot red? Pain ,regret and emptiness your definition? Exhaustion being written all over your face doesn't help either. To the girl on the mirror! I hate your effect on me. I miss my free spirit, Beaming eyes, Flashy smile, Lively face, Creative brain , and jolly heart. Go away!!!! I need me back!!!

The other maidens made a wish list, For the king to grant wishes; The best of the land they have, But I didn't want his blessings,  All I wanted is to be in with His peace of mind, Healing of the heart , Restoration of the spirit,  Acceptance of the soul, Renewal in the body , No guilt in life , No fear in death  And puzzle pieces felt in place. Not misunderstood nor judged, Not blamed nor accused, Not neglected and ignored, Not used and dumped, I would be ME just a maiden loving her king. My sacrifice accepted like Abel, My faith built like Abraham, My prayers answered like Hannah, My stamina developed like Job, My sins forgiven like the Lady at Jesus ' feet, My bond sealed like Noah, My battles fought for like David, My life added like Hezekiah.  For in my one night with the king, I would see the heights of his love, Swim in the depths of his peace, and cuddle in His mercies. By Favor khaoya

They all called it the secret lovers gate, We called it the beautiful gate, Constant reminder of the decaying of trust, Like a secret gate left to rust. Giving us reasons to avoid secrets. They all saw a thick unkept bush, We saw a get away venue. It was our favorite spot, Our happy place. For where they neglected as saturated base, Was our breathing space. All they heard was whispers, Yet we poured our hearts, Wrote love letters, Recited love poems, Predicted the future, Appreciated the present , And learnt from the past. Sounds of crickets annoyed them, Yet it gave our reality background music. In perfect harmony with the swinging twigs And the birds singing love songs to each other , We would make memories , That make our blood boil anytime they flash. Coz our secret hideout, Was the one place That every wrong thing felt right And every right thing felt perfect. By favor khaoya

THE ONE LOVE STORY once upon a time, In the uncertain days of teen hood,  A rare yet real boy came to a girls life . He treated her like a queen. Not the extra jewelry and fancy baths But the respect and admiration . Like he finally found something to bind his loyalty to. He thought she was not only lucky,  But very beautiful with a heart to die for. A girl of her dreams, Sometimes an annoying brat, And most certainly the exact definition of a girl she wanted to marry, So his days will be filled with her presence , The air he breathes filled with her scent, He wanted to do her all day everyday.  For he craved her. she was his addiction.  But he was a man apart! By experience not choice. Scared of giving her his whole heart Believing they are unreliable  Because they easily get broken. He felt she drives him crazy Yet he had no effect on her. He felt hopeless in love. When the girl found out, She asked him, "What if I was made for you? What if this is it? What if...

She thought God had forgotten her, So convinced she was He didn't care about her, She felt it was all her fault, That she had left him with no choice! Giving up on her was His wisest decision. Has it all been in vain? Having lived in uncertainty? Serving the lamb who was slain? Should she still believe in eternity? And His reign? If so...should she still be guilty?? Of the times he left Him down? Then reality struck! Guilt is the Satan's secret recipe to win souls. She was like Adam and Eve in her own life. Hiding from God after sinning! He never left her nor forgot her! All He needed was for her to call out for Him, And He would help her out of her messy maze! Like when He gave Adam and Eve clothes. Coz God is a gentleman, He only goes where invited.  By Favor khaoya.

THE ART OF BEING LUHYA Finally ,darkness engulfs the land! The hour I eagerly wait for , Time to tell tales, As per the popular Luhya belief,, Darkness is the fuel of Good stories. On our roads, You cannot miss a bicycle (paiskeli) Because it's our car. On the paiskeli,you cannot miss a radio( Iretio That is our laptop!! On the Iretio,you can't miss greetings(salamu) It's our signature move. The only time you miss greetings, Is the healing period after circumscion. They carry the Sirere and chinyimba to ask for permission to join  manhood, On the day of circumcision,soil is applied to numb their bodies, Grass on their head depicts courage , and it shouldn't shake during the cut!! They hold a stick called kumusukuni and get the cut of their lifetime. Gifts are given as appreciation of the bravery . And when they are healed,just before they leave jandoni, They sleep outside , in the banana plantations. Early in the morning they bathe in the river and wear new clothes give...

i wish it was time to move on, It would make the pain bearable, Even though my life would be miserable, At least it would be reasonable. I wish it was time to start over, To transition To the next step of life To redesign my destiny To update my life files At least it would feel like it was all a lesson. I wish it was time to change, Renew my mindset Have new friends ,  A new closet, A new look, Preferably short hair dyed blue, That's what our ancestors used to do to mark change right? At least change is therapeutic. I wish it was time to agree that it is time, Maybe then my happiness can be restored, My peace of mind established, My willingness to forgive strengthened, My desire to avenge weakened , And my ability to live on my own enabled , At least time would have healed all my wounds.

THROUGH MY BEST FRIEND'S EYES    Maybe its the big round eyes perfectly accessoriesed by her long  sexy lashes , Or  that she finally sees my nakedness ! After she fought to see what was beyond my walls. That she sees me for who I am.   Like a brand That's why she never let's anyone undeserving give me a nickname  And taught me to master the art of loving my name It makes me respond to it with confidence like when one is called up to deliver a speech they prepared for compared to being  called in the high school list of shame .   Like a lady who underappreciates herself; I don't quite know what I am made of at times, I remember the basics in my biography  But forget the basic essence of what I am worth  And down play  my value and judgements  It makes me vulnerable to the court of public opinion more than often . That's Help me God be honest to it, But then she asks 'At what cost?' But she makes me see me as strong lady with th...

My mind went on a wild field trip, That needed no chaperone.  What I needed was a race down memory lane! Back to the innocent days!      How did I get here? An early morning shadow,almost invisible.  A ghost to the living, A powerless fairy, More of a phoenix who can't fly. Just like an old car stuck in an old abandoned building,  reeds growing all around its wheels, Rust eating away its metal piece by piece.   I feel like a hot pot of old liability‼ Once they treated me like a wooden match that preserves cigars flavor, But right now, They make me feel like the bad luck that comes with toasting in the absence of alcohol.         At times I wish I was a parasite hooked  to their hips, I would suck them cell by cell and drain all the blood off them. No anger , no malice! Just a little bit of regret For being the toy they enjoyed all the tricks untill non worked anymore , Being the forest fire inr the wilderness wasn't easy either...

THE UNTOUCHABLE BOY IN CLASS Momentarily starstruck!  I grabbed a stool, Gulped a drink, and opened my eyes wider! I had the feeling I get when I read a well written line!  To close the book,stare at the wall and let it sink in! He was standing there! At a close range!!! The untouchable boy in class. His confidence magnetic, His smile  charming , His cologne giving me infinite  reasons to drown myself in his perfume bottle, His voice making my goosebumps orgasm, His wink awakened the exotic butterflies within me,  His gait  depicted a touch of class ,with a drop of sophistication embedded in royal essence.  All I asked God is to bless the ground beneath his feet!   I know he ain't the Centre of the universe,  But he keeps spinning me like one  I am his number one fan, His posters are on the wall inside my head, The little spart of emotions I felt keep brawling to a star. He literally swept me off my feet!   Too bad I couldn't fall o...

SERIKALI TAFADHALI SAIDIA I am not inhuman Neither am I a renegade But my thoughts maybe inhuman I seek not  defend  them Though maybe they need my defense As I may get stoned.   "Serikali nisaidie!" That's a cliché in my mother land, Choosing not to fix broken bridges As the children swim across swollen river to quench academic thirst All I can think of is disposal to Bilharzia or pneumonia. Doesn't it scare you,my country people? That they could be attacked by the  inhabitants of the water?   When the media reports .. All the villagers say is 'Serikali tafadhali saidia' How hard is to put planks of wood to use to cross over???     When harvest is  bumper, Farmers feast with their families, They sell part of it. When their is food shortage in the country, They yell out ' Serikali  tafadhali saidia' Does the government grow crops? Can't the farmers store ' emergency food' in the granary? ? Can't they use the ...

HEARING GOD Confusion was written all over my face, Being on that podium made my life memories flash in my head, Why on earth doesn't anyone  listen to me?? And why from heaven messages I can not perceive? Why do they behave like I am mist on a sunny day?? And I on earth an invincible island? In that moment,the harsh reality hit me!!! *Do I really listen from heaven?* When and why does heavens speak??? Does God then reveal his nature?  Will I understand His will in my life then?? How does God speak? Is it a soft whisper? If so I miss it as am never attentive, How does he even sound like? Does he have a base or an alto?  What if it's a magical tenor?  Does he use my friends and family Familiar to me they are,  If they the vessel ,their voice I never head,  Am strongly caged to the assumption they can't be used on me. Pre emptive that is, But I miss the point of their speech Then it dawned to me! I need my inner ears opened! So I can listen when God speaks, N...