reality

When I was about three years old ,I used to watch my sister go to school and I would cry .There was nothing in the world I wanted more than going with her.I mean ,a place with a bunch of kids ,play ground ,toys and porridge ;does it get any better ?I kept dreaming of it like a scene from a movie that every lover waits for or a passage in a book that every reader waits for as it's the key to unknown happiness or plot twist .

My parents somehow managed to curb my curiosity and love for school until I was off age . School was not exactly what I dreamt it would be like but I most definitely enjoyed being their.From the onset,I made friends and became some sort of "ring leader".I called the shots and everyone in my squad was at my beck and call.The sun rose and set at my feet and they worshipped me for that .With groundnuts and crisps and Mandazi's,it was not so hard to set foot on my throne and ensure it was stable.I never took that for granted though ,for I wasn't sure when I would run out of time .

Life took a turn when I got to upper primary .It was nolonger about food and friends;it became serious.It was plastered in my head that I needed to work hard for my future. In this case,getting to a good damn highschool;National school.That needed good grades.I wasn't a nicocrimp, as a matter of fact,I was an egg head,but some nerve is triggered when you nolonger work at your pace ;it's a race with fate.The pressure,the competition,the goals,the constant need to do better ;it all puts you on the edge. 

I managed to score one of the good highschools.My parents were proud ,the villagers sang songs to my name and my relatives slaughtered chicken to celebrate me.When I first joined highschool,I thought that was enough.When I was in primary ,all I was told is work hard to get to highschool and here I was;time to take a breather.How wrong was I !Through the four years ,it was a race of justification, fight for fame ,struggle for academic success and ultimate survival for the fittest.Above all,the constant reminder that the grade in highschool will determine the university you get into and ultimately your career and life path.All that mattered was grades and grades and grades .

They say there is a devil in details.Yet joining campus ,I felt their was an Angel in details ,the details I was never given.In highschool I was told not to sleep in class for I would sleep in campus ,I was told to eat fast as I would have plenty time to do that later in life,they said read now their won't be plenty of reading in campus and my guidance and counselling mistress said leave the small boys in highschool you will get real men in campus someone who will treat you nice and will be handsome.They painted campus as a paradise and I believed them.I wish they gave me the details of how much I had to read and write ,how fast I had to eat because classes were colliding and were far apart from each other.And the boys!ooh I mean men! Sex obsessed self loathing broke creatures.And the few who were not that were on the pathway to being that .The devil in details would have saved me from the pain of expectations.

Today is my first day at work.They said education is the key to a bright future.I am sitting at my desk wondering "was it worth it ?"The strokes of cane ,the running to class,the extra curricular activities ,the classes I took and the extra assignments.Before I go back to work,my mind is making me feel it was all worthless.I am at a desk,doing nothing I read about in school,I know follow your heart is not a philosophy that works in my country but neither does follow your career path.

I am stuck in a desk,in a wrong department,trying to learn everything from scratch.I am learning to bend because my skies are caving in but maybe we should just be like China.Our kids should specialize when young and work that field for the rest of their life because either way education system in this country is a failed fairy tale.It has no happy ending .

By Favor khaoya