Favorkhaoya

To the boy on my mind  Today I chanted a prayer for you.Not because I wanted you but damnit coz I needed you ; spending the entire night conjuring scenes on my mind about what might happen in our next meeting was a good validation of that fact. You were my first thought in the morning.Good gracious! Am I becoming one of those girls who are so drawn to a guy that all they do is think about them ? It is difficult to draw the line between the random night thoughts and a quick memory of you as I draw my curtains.I think about what you would say to me if you were there as the bright sun rays filtered into the room. Oh my prayer; I  felt a little guilty talking to God about you .I hope  he does not judge me because of my guilty pleasures; I mean they are more ecstatic, lead to good stories and  a happy ending right? God would understand me wanting to be happy ( this totally sounds like self consolation, but who cares ). I bet I did make God laugh with my fantasy and energy...

Forgive me Mheshimiwa if I do not flaunt my smile at your shreds of tenderness.  Take no offense if I do not feel an ounce of gratitude in my heart towards your generous contribution this festive season .My hands are folded to my chest as I watch my country men clapping for you for bringing us a packet of wheat four and a litre of cooking oil. I find it absurd that you made us sit and wait for you all day . We would have gone to our farms and businesses, but we waited for you, mheshimiwa .Today,you gave us thirty minutes of your precious time .My heart breaks at the irony of this. Have we been reduced to be  barely worth half an hour and a few fifty shillings coins? How bad is the situation on the ground ,such that fify shillings is life saving cash ? Do you not think you are creating a ticking time Bomb for yourself. Mheshimiwa ,head fast to the city ,leave the village that voted you. Mheshimiwa ,you Come with your own  bottled water to the meeting .You remind your count...

THE ONE THAT SHOULD’NT HAVE STAYED Boy, I know the story. I didn’t have to see pictures nor scroll through the messages. I lived it; I saw it coming. Damnit I even read the signs but you know what they say, when you are in love, the red flags look green and the oceans of mistakes looks like streams of cracks. It started that sunny afternoon in May, the last day of your visit. As I lay on your chest all I could think is how we were a life time and not a fleeting moment and my heart felt like it was made of liquid sunsets. I remembered how you asked me to drop down my dress because everyone was staring at my thighs and how you grabbed my ass when that guy at the bus station couldn’t stop gawking at me. I found the jealousy charming; I mean who doesn’t like to feel owned? Like they belong to someone who wants them all to themselves? This flash back is weighing heavily on my heart. I remember how excited you were when we visited the booth of the kapenguria six.The glow in your eyes and th...

Okay!! I must admit that it hurts. Not because you got away, I mean that does cause my heart to churn into knots every second of the day. But majorly because you were an almost. Almost! Damn I hate that word but not as much as I hate what happened to us. We held failed potential just like the damned word almost! You know how my favorite poet always said "almost represents the ability to be just not good enough. It shows we have come to the brink of something beautiful, but fell short too many times we crafted a word for it”. Just like you and I were at the brink of something beautiful but we couldn’t quite reach it, we fell too far and we weren’t there to catch each other. My mother used to tell me that, if a guy loved me, I would know. If he did not  I would be confused. With you I never doubted, with you I never second guessed, with you I never questioned, with you insecurity wasn’t my portion. Not because you said you loved me, but because you spent most of the time showing me ...