THE ONE THAT SHOULDN'T HAVE STAYED!

THE ONE THAT SHOULD’NT HAVE STAYED
Boy, I know the story. I didn’t have to see pictures nor scroll through the messages. I lived it; I saw it coming. Damnit I even read the signs but you know what they say, when you are in love, the red flags look green and the oceans of mistakes looks like streams of cracks.
It started that sunny afternoon in May, the last day of your visit. As I lay on your chest all I could think is how we were a life time and not a fleeting moment and my heart felt like it was made of liquid sunsets. I remembered how you asked me to drop down my dress because everyone was staring at my thighs and how you grabbed my ass when that guy at the bus station couldn’t stop gawking at me. I found the jealousy charming; I mean who doesn’t like to feel owned? Like they belong to someone who wants them all to themselves?
This flash back is weighing heavily on my heart. I remember how excited you were when we visited the booth of the kapenguria six.The glow in your eyes and the smile on your face was something I could get used to seeing. As a matter of fact, it was at that moment that I figured out, if we ever did fight, I would know exactly what to do to restore order. That was a very wrong train of thoughts because a fight was brewing. You took photos of everything but most especially me, you claimed you were making your own history; a gift to our generation.You believed that the story of our lives would be just one of the many gifts to our family and perhaps the best gift beacause we will Showing them that life is to be celebrated, and to be lived and loved. I guess that is where I got the idea of having kids.
Then you interrupted my thought trail when you started speaking. You told me how much I was the love you didn’t see coming. You said I was the girl you always prayed for and a perfect girlfriend ; one who understood you, stood by you, made bad puns with you and laughed at your unfunny jokes. You wished we had met earlier so we could start this love thing early for you would trade anything to be as happy and stupidly in love as you were. Those words were literally melting my heart and I was a breathe away from interrupting you and telling how much you made me feel the same way and my life was better coz it had you in it, but then you continued talking.“ For this short time we have been together, I have felt loved, cared for and appreciated. I am sorry for all the times my life complications come between us and it hurts you. Sometimes my hands are tied and I just don’t know what to do”
That jolted me back to reality. Oh shit! This is like that song re-write the stars by Anne Marie. I sat up because this had just gotten serious, “What are you going to do?” I asked
“You know it’s not only up to me.”
“You did not answer my question.”
“ I need to take responsibility of my actions.”
“What does that exacly mean?”
“I’m going to take care of my kid in whatever way possible. Even if that means getting another one. He can’t grow up as the only kid.”
“Wow babe. That really impressive; though I don’t think we are ready for kids.”
“I meant biological sibling hunny.”
“What?”
“I don’t want my kid to be a spoilt brat nor to be mistreated by a step familily. Even though the mum marries someday, I want him to have a biological sibling. Someone he can talk to and laugh and gossip without feeling like a lesser being. I know you can surely understand that.”
My brain froze, my heartbeats were twice as fast and my thoughts were on a marathon. Did he just say he wanted to have another kid with another woman on the same day he kept talking about us starting a family? Once is a mistake and that can be forgiven but twice? That’s a freaking pattern! Once makes a baby mama, twice makes a wife. One kid makes a child, two kids make children and children make a family. What does that make me, where does that leave me? I started to leave
“Where are you going?”
“I am going to my neighbor’s house, my friend is waiting for me there”
“Say something,”
“about what?”
“Everything I have just told you?”
“Well, I am awesome and everything you prayed and dreamt about, but what you want is to have another kid with someone else?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Its exactly like that. “
“I love you not her.”
“You neither love me nor her. You love yourself; you want both of us tied to you. I can’t do these. Close the door behind you when you leave. You shouldn’t have stayed in the first place.”
“Plee…”
“Boy Bye”
By Favor khaoya

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