Favorkhaoya

Heavy breathing! Stars! Ears ringing! Legs shaking! White light! Pure bliss. If this is what gets me locked out of heaven, then hell is a good compromise. I was swimming in this ocean of contentment when I slowly opened my eyes . The first bits of light were blinding but I slowly got accustomed to it . I noticed my surroundings; the California king size bed, the grey wall paint, the musk smell of Glade air spray and the photo on the wall; Steve and I.  Then it hit me what I had come to do . Thank God I had two minutes of happy post nut clarity before this dampening one. Steve was my childhood sweetheart. The perfect love at 18 and somehow at 25, he still fit like a puzzle piece; well when he wanted to that is  . Yet , I was about to do the one thing I never thought I would do . He was my first and only, my sun rose and set at his feet. But you know what they say, no matter how long the sun shines, the moon must own the sky too or something like that . It was time our sky b...

You know the saying, "when I grow up, I want to be…." It is always cupped with ridiculous dreams that we somehow believe we could achieve. That keeps us going; funny how achievement and hope rank top of the list of motivation factors. Even though sometimes, it is just chasing the wind. So, what happens when you get what you want, rather what you wanted, and somehow, it's not good enough? Never meet your heroes they say. After two years, that is how I felt. Like there wasn’t gold in the river, that I had been washing my hands in forever. Don’t get me wrong, not monetary gold, that did not matter to me as I was volunteering. The passion that run through my veins and the enthusiasm that fueled me seemed to drain. I no longer felt like fighting the good fight. I mean, a battle is fought by more than one person, right? So, what was the use of fighting it alone? Or rather, feeling like I am fighting it alone.? I know there is hope in these waters. Hope to save a life or m...