Favorkhaoya

    First, Arrrrrgghhhhh!!!! Second; Why does it feel like your heart dies when you grow up? Third; Everything sucks, JUST KIDDING! Everything is great! Why don’t psychological tricks work on me? I can swear I have heard my best friend, Nikita “manifest” over a hundred times and it all comes to happen; don’t get me started on the number of times her moods change in a matter of seconds. I am convinced she has a brain switch! How else would you explain someone being sad and hurt one minute and then over the top the next? But I am not her; I never will be. My mind lingers on that thought more than it should. At that moment, it all becomes real and I experience sadness so excruciating it makes it hard to want to live beyond it. I tell myself I am okay because I need to know that I am. I tell myself I am okay again. I keep saying it, more times than I have ever said it out loud. Every time I say it, I am hit by a wave of relief and a tornado of sadness. I feel like I am p...

  Amber “Till death do us part! Who the fuck came up with such a clause!” I thought to myself while resisting the urge to throw the bottle of whiskey to the wall. Yes, whiskey! In a span of two weeks, I had graduated from a wine drinker in fancy flutes and coupes to a whiskey guzzler. I wasn’t even wincing while draining the content of the bottles. I was convinced that my solace would be found at the bottom of that bottle. But how wrong I was. It was finally that time when everyone who came to mourn with me had left. I was forlorn and lost; waiting for the healing touch of good memories, love, and laughter to return to me with the breath of life. However, two weeks later, none of that seemed possible. I was still feeling stuck and trapped in my thoughts. My thoughts are a dreadful place; a very dreadful place. They all take me back to that moment; the moment Sara, our family doctor called to tell me they had gotten a kidney for Matthew; my husband, and that it was a match. I was el...