THAT POINT IN LIFE
THAT POINT IN LIFE
"Melophilia “is not a word you hear often unless of course you subscribe to the religion of music. Don’t worry, you are not the only one; and no! I am neither patronizing you nor offering paper thin consolation. You know, with all the high and mighty attitude I portray sometimes, I am part of the folk that didn’t know that word exists. All that ended when I read this article; https://coffeethoughtslife.
Do you remember the good old days? The ones that all you had to do is wake up and sing;” I wake up in the morning, I wash my face, I take a cup of tea, I brush my teeth and run to school.” Days where when you wake up you would find tea prepared and you won’t bother knowing who made the tea and what was even used. Days when all you had to worry about was assignment; which frankly, you could copy from your desk mate if you arrived in school early enough. Days where your biggest tussle in life was to get good grades and do house work. If you were as lucky as me and academic excellence came easy to you and you had enough social skills to manipulate people to do things for you; then your life was easy peasy. Boy do I miss those days!!!! And the stability it offered. Right now I have to worry about getting ingredients for the tea and cooking the tea! Screw growing up.
So before I took you to that unchaperoned race down memory lane, I had an uuuuurrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhh moment. Its two weeks to my birthday. I am turning that age that you start telling people I am 18 for life. Yes! I am that old. Don’t even try guessing the exact number; my height allows me to pass for a bouncing 18 year old baby girl with a full life ahead of her. But do I have a full life ahead of me? What does that full life look like? Can I handle it? Will I be everything I dreamt of?
Dreams! I remember when I started having those (Childhood dreams like movie scenes roll in my mind. It really was “the time of my life.”) How much my dad would encourage me to create a bucket list so I can check progress. It’s amazing how habits can be super addictive. A million dog years later and I think I achieved all my dreams for the stage I am in life. I know that sounds dramatic and a tad over confident but when you are self-driven ,goal oriented and have a stable support system, achieving them is like taking candy from a kid. But why do I still feel like I am missing something? Like there is something I haven’t ticked off the bucket list? Why do I feel I haven’t reached the peak of the mountain I thought I was climbing? I am there but why doesn’t it taste like I thought it would?
Where am I going? What am I doing? What am I looking for? Am I even looking? Should I be looking? A while ago, I was wondering what my corner of the sky is. Oh yeah, its time to go back to the melophiliac episode I was having. I almost forgot that’s what I was narrating about. So in the midst of all the emotional anguish I was having and self-sabotage mood I was in ,Stephen Schwartz’s Corner of the sky song started playing .
“Everything has its reason, Everything has its time, show me a reason and I’ll soon show you a rhyme. Cats fit on the windowsill, children fit in the snow. Why do I feel I don’t fit anywhere I go?” And let me tell you maina! Have you ever felt like screaming in mother tongue while beating the crap out of an innocent tree? That was the moment for me. The swimming pool of tears that I was holding back found a way to be an ocean on my hands and pillow! Somebody needs to compensate pillows in the next world, those guys shelter more than just our heads. It’s way above their paygrade.
I like the way my dreams stick to my soul. Gives me a sense of purpose and you know what every corny person says; purpose creates, connects, guides, pulls, drives and defines us. That is all my dreams do to me. What no one will ever tell you is, when you accomplish them, you get an emptiness, a yearning to start all over. It’s like how you relate to your favorite book. You loooooooooovvvvvveeeedd every inch of it, even when your thoughts and that of the author did not align and when your main character was a mess. When you finish it, you are both relived to see the outcome and a little sad that you don’t have it anymore. And it’s time to move to the next big thing after all life is a game of stepping up. The big question is; what are you stepping up to?
As soon as my mind went there, the next line hit! “So many men seem destined to settle for something small. But I won’t rest until I know I have it all. So don’t ask where I am going. Just listen when I am gone and far away, you’ll hear me singing softly to the dawn. Rivers belong where they can ramble, eagles belong where they can fly. I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free. Got to find my corner of the sky.” Damnit Stephen!!!! YOU REALLY HAD TO READ MY MIND SO INTENSELY???
Well, I had just taken out my notebook to figure out the next thing I was going to do with my life. And in case you are wondering, which I know you are, I decided to write this article. So that when I reach that age where I say I am 25 for life, I can look back and ask myself; did I find the lightening to my thunderstorm or the nightingale to my song? Did I find my corner of the sky? Did I get to where my spirit can run free? Most importantly; DID I OWN UP MY THRONE AS PLANNED? OR DID I SURPASS EXPECTATION? I hope I did surpass; how else would I have earned that trip to Norway to see the northern lights?
For now, I am going to appreciate that I got on top of my current mountain.
“Waiter, Pepper Mint Mocha please, make it a double.”
(I mean, who knows when my alter ego will show up.)
By Favor khaoya
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