SEND MY LOVE

 

SEND MY LOVE.

Oh Damn! Oh damn! Oh damn! Those are three oh damns! I mean, am I excited about the whole thing? Hell no. Am I slightly impressed about it? Absolutely. Who wouldn’t? Let us be honest here, how many times do you say, “it is not you, its me.” While breaking up? First, I think that line is cliché and people should come up with exciting ways of breaking up. You know, for instance take someone to the gym and say we can’t work out. If she/he isn’t smart enough for that, maybe tell them “Hey babe, it’s time to take our relationship to the previous level.” My personal favorite must be, “I will always cherish my initial misconceptions about you.” But hey, that’s as mean as telling someone to remove L in Lover; it rips the band aid fast and smooth. Isn’t that what we all want? WROOOOOOOOOOOONGGG! It still hurts when the band aid is ripped out; whether it is sugar coated in “it’s not you, its me “ or wrapped in movie references like “we need to cover more ground so we should split up” or the real deal, ‘you think you are an anchor, you have done nothing but weigh me down.”

Oh, I lost track. My point was, for once, I wasn’t the one on the wrong! The bad guy, the one who lost faith in us, the one who bleed us out. This was all you, none of it me. Right from the beginning when You put your hands all over my body and told me you were ready. For the big one, for the big jump. I'd be your last love, everlasting, you, and me. Honestly that looked like post nut clarity. I mean, I know I got gold mines between my legs and when I like the miner, I make it rain gems; just like I had that night. Eternal love, a home, a future with roses and dirty little notes on post its and drives to the sunset. You were ready to make me your all in one or so you thought.

Dude, I'm giving you up! I've forgiven it all! The lies, the promises of heaven on earth, the being your world! Seriously where were you going to take the rest of the earthlings? Mars? Oh wait, I was your world, so mars creatures were endangered too. The late nights, the unreturned calls, the unwarranted breaks, the fights, the make ups! No more of that. Its time to remove the L from l OVER Mr. man.

You set me free! Now I can  find the kind of love that I deserve. A love that is patient and kind, it gives and not only takes, it nourishes and refreshes. It nurtures and grows. A love that makes me feel loved and prioritized. I mean, no more being stepped upon, or being made to feel like a vile creature just because I accidentally soiled your bedsheets during my periods. A love that understands that when I call, I am not being nagging (even though I have to admit sometimes I am,) one that knows I call because your sound waves make my whole body relax and my world a better place. One where I am somebody’s whole world and vice versa. Yes, this time I agree with the analogy; because it won’t be just a craving for romantic love or a hot body to lie next to on a cold night, it would be about actual feelings and presence coupled with willingness to put effort into the love. You set me free to be the best version of myself.

Send my love to your new lover. Treat her better. Do not use flowers only for big apologies or cooking for her just because you are hungry and she is slow in the kitchen. Take her on dates, after a fight apologize. Remember days that matter to her and show her that she matters too. Don’t make her feel loved only when naked; appreciate her even when she is clothed and not throwing back her ass for you. Questioning her intelligence is so different from helping her process situations and dilemmas; I hope you understand that and value her opinions on things. Basically, treat her better than you treated me. Which unfortunately means, don’t do things you used to do with me. Proposing marriage after sex being top of that list haha.

We both know we ain't kids no more hence I am going to tell you this with a straight face. I was too strong, you were trembling. You couldn't handle the hot heat rising. That would explain why you questioned my every decision instead of supporting me. You never showed up to my events or celebrated my achievements. Man! You never would have made boyfriend of the year. You trod me in dirt, but honey, like dirt I rose and yes, Baby, I'm still rising. I was running, you were walking. You were way beyond your league with me. Head below water or whatever reference my best friend used on you. You couldn't keep up; you were falling down. That’s when it all started, the twisted lies, the manipulation, the body shaming, the distance, the talking me down! Tell me honey, what did I do to deserve that? Did I make you feel small while I sprung high up like hopes? Were you hoping to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Weakened by my soulful cries? That was never going to happen! I compacter-mentalize, know my worth, heal and spring back. I've forgiven it all. We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts, If you're ready, I am ready.

 

I am sorry for all the hurt I caused you. I forgive you for all the hurt you caused me. Like an arrow from the hands of an experienced hunter, I am letting you go, I am setting you free. Send my love to your new lover; treat her better. I just gave you lesson one; be a better student than you were a boyfriend. Adios Amigo; time to take our relationship to the previous level; see you around stranger .

 BY Favor Khaoya

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